Sara's ramblings

(Note: I wrote this on July 11, 2013, but opted not to post at that tumultuous time).

The dramatic responses are warranted. We worked so hard.

I’m a single parent, and I felt compelled to donate more than I had ever contributed to a candidate. A modest amount, sure, but a sacrifice for me and my family. I was inspired to fundraise and organize and lend my small voice to the fight for Filner v DeMaio.

Carl DeMaio’s wild-eyed single term on council was marked by tirades against city employees – and self-satisfied opposition to seemingly anyone without expressly capitalist and privately-funded agendas. He was determined to set himself apart, and mostly on issues that further oppressed San Diego’s poorest, would diminish the integrity of any non-obviously monetary value of our local environmental resources, and in opposition to the majority of citizens he didn’t feel the need to win over.

His extremist vision and mayoral bid had to be stopped. So many people, many of whom were previously apathetic, rose up. The people rose up.

Bob Filner, “Freedom Rider,” citing bleeding heart Kennedy quotations and MLK, was combative but began to feel like a fighter for the people.

We were stunned. San Diego is supposed to be “nice,” but for most of those who coalesced around the Filner for Mayor campaign, we had been silenced and marginalized for so long, having a prizefighter for our interests was a dream we’d long forgotten to dream.

We were no longer only rallying against the terrifying, exteme DeMaio vision for stark sequestration and enmity of working people, but FOR a feisty new ideal, a candidate who was beginning to embody a progressive ideal for San Diego. Where regular people have a voice at City Hall – a seat at the table – “if you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu.” Cue the knowing laughter.

Donna Frye, David Alvarez, Todd Gloria, Marti Emerald campaigned tirelessly on Bob’s behalf. Volunteers walked, called, walked again. Urged friends. Passionately advocated. Prodded friends some more.

We did it. We WON. It was GLORIOUS!

Over the past months, many of the results of Bob’s combative public persona have been exciting to observe, and gratifying. A take-no-prisoners approach that seems to thrive on, not fear, combat.

He’s smart and savvy. He seemed to be winning most of the principled fights. It’s been easy to cheer him on, especially for those of us who prefer to passively think “people will just do the right things if they have all the facts,” which actually doesn’t work in politics most of the time.

In my personal life, I’ve been in relationships that, despite much hope, potential, promise, and desire, eventually fail those aspirations enough to warrant painfully parting from them. Applying this real-life wisdom to San Diego progressive politics: there’s a line. There comes a time when we cannot turn a blind eye and absorb the disappointments, some of those with questionable legality, any longer.

At some point, all of our donated hours and personal investments have been worth the effort, but we realize with information it’s time for them to be redirected.

So, San Diego: you have now had a taste of your voice being heard. You’ve learned it takes more than an election, and it’s time to continue those efforts. You’ve felt the exhilarating “I backed the right guy: look at him go!” feeling… but as you learn there’s a dark side to this persona, one that does not reflect a reconcilable, justifiable ethic, it compels a different position.

We came this far. We’ve accomplished so much. We’ve been betrayed – all of us. Let the anger fuel a new direction.

Part of the failure came from putting our “salvation” in the hands of one (strong mayor) person. Part of it came as a result of poor collective community, organization, and expression of failed values. Perhaps part of it is the result of wanting more beautiful, carefree beach days with our families. But now: we know it takes constant engagement to ensure our interests will be protected.

Our next leaders will be better for the lesson. We’ll have to be closer, more consistently engaged, to be effective.

And we’re not willing to blame victims nor compromise on basic ethical principles to obtain our vision.

How do we define ourselves?

Last year I watched an Ani DiFranco documentary in which she passionately opposes the death penalty. It has echoed frequently in my thoughts since then: How is it we can define a human’s entire worth by their single worst moment? How is it that one choice (or a series of choices culminating in a terrible act) can be the extent of how that person is valued and devalued? An entire life defined in one moment.

Not only do our impressions of negative experiences overshadow many other defining moments, but sometimes we hope to have a single achievement that will answer the question of personal worth for all time.

When I was young, I used to read books by the woodsy humorist Patrick McManus. One of his invented daydreams was that he would be selected to do nothing but polish a wooden walking stick for one year. At the end of that year, there would be accolades! The stick would be displayed for all to see as the ultimate in perfectly polished walking sticks, and he would retire happy, at the top of his game, praised for all time.

“Man, just look at that stick.” Happy sigh.

Sometimes when life is tiresome, we all just want to arrive, get a gold star signifying a life well lived, and relax.

I can define myself in so many ways – some of which are incongruent with other portions of my life. Some of these elevate me, others diminish and define as “less-than,” some even as a victim of circumstances beyond my control but for which I still feel responsible. At any time, I can choose one of these as my focus and self-definition, but that habit is myopic and inaccurate.

It interests me that there are pockets of my life my daughters know nothing about. They can’t yet relate, or they haven’t come up in conversation, it it wouldn’t yet be helpful nor purposeful. But I’m their MOM – one of the closest people to them. It seems so odd for them to only know me contextually through the things we’ve shared.

Who am I to them, right now, as opposed to how I define myself at any given moment? Who am I to you, or in relation to you? How to I re-position myself to be more known, more helpful, with an ever-more-meaningful, evolving purpose?

In my early teen years, I learned that I had a proclivity to bottle things up. Sharing the confusing emotions – the sometimes seemingly uncontrollable, hormonal anger, the thoughts that might make others feel poorly – was difficult. So I’d internalize these until they bubbled over.

My Dad began drawing me out. It was awful. Then I realized: sharing made me feel better. I felt lighter inside and more understood. The emotions were more measured and manageable when I didn’t try to suppress the thoughts that fed them. The thoughts in my head at any given time didn’t have to define my persona for all time, and talking them out – personally connecting – was intrinsically rewarding.

I’m still not very good at it – at finding the right, trustworthy people to proactively engage – or making time to share with the kind people already deeply connected to my life.

I often get lost in a sea of related thoughts and wonder, when coming briefly out of my reveries and ponderings, why strangers smile on the sidewalk or try to engage in friendly smalltalk at the store.

I’m going to keep working on being present though, because just as I learned when I was young: it takes practice, but sharing creates peace and lightheartedness. Difficult topics are lighter when known by another. Connecting is the only way to create community.

Who I am in the context of my communities can be somewhat fluid – you’ll know me through a series of impressions, assumptions, and experiences.

I want my motivation to always be inspired by the poetess Maya Angelou: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I want to create community like the old guy in this story (the author’s father), and grow the capacity for joy in myself and others. I can’t do that by holding back, or keeping my head in the clouds, or by avoiding the smiling eyes of strangers I meet. I am not defined solely by the things I think.

Social media, for all its benefits and potential benefits, tends to make me more insular.

Let’s remember to look each other fully in the face, hug, and use our voices to talk and laugh together. The world needs that ongoing practice and connection. We’ll continue to define and re-define ourselves along the way.

Connecting can bring vulnerability, discomfort, and even pain at times, but together is better than alone. Our communities – and ourselves – need the healing that only connecting can bring.

Although I’m not completely pleased with President Obama, I will support him for another four years.

Ideologically and as a Christian, I have become more aligned with progressive policies than conservative ones, primarily because a wealthy nation should care for its weakest citizens. A prosperous nation doesn’t gain or maintain success by increasing cultural and economic divides.

In Jesus’ day, when asked about taxes (it was a trick question then, too), he instructed his followers to “render to Caesar what is Caesar’s.” I would venture to say that capitalism and personal acquisition of material things are not inherently bad, but ‘prosperity doctrine’ has come to replace (or at least overshadow) principles of the early church. Though our democracy affords its citizens some say in the amount of taxes owed and where they are directed, and allows us to elect our leaders, we are still to respect authority and concern ourselves (as Christians) more with enacting the spirit and intent of Jesus’ basic teachings than vociferously denouncing these.

Jesus didn’t say to assess whether the poor are hungry and unclothed because they don’t work hard enough or suffer from addictions, he said to feed and clothe them. As Christians in a (presumably) democratic nation, we have the benefit of some of our tax dollars achieving these goals, and we have the right to influence elected officials to improve upon funded services. To most sustainably achieve this, we must also ensure even the least opportune children are afforded good education, and adults are given employment opportunities beyond low-paying service jobs.

Unfortunately, President Obama’s best efforts to keep his campaign promises and deliver a better America have been stymied by a Republican majority House. His attempts at compromise have been first rebuffed, then disparaged. The increasing extremism of the GOP platform is frightening to me. It selectively praises ideals of free actors in society while restricting healthcare for women and those already sick and protecting the ‘rights’ of polluters to damage everybody’s air and water quality in their praised pursuit of higher profits (among other concerns.)

Conversely, there seem to be a number of fears held by many conservative Christian Republicans about President Obama’s leadership (and Democrats generally), and abortion is at the top of the list.

Advocating for women’s choice isn’t interchangeable with advocating for abortion. I wish there never was another. However, it’s not a bright line issue for me, and I won’t support policies that criminalize doctors and women. Our jails are full, and abortion legality or illegality doesn’t functionally get to the heart of the matter.

We can’t vilify teens and adults who have sex outside of marriage. That most traditional Christians oppose sex outside of marriage does not mean it is an expectation rightfully imposed and politically thrust upon others. The fact that people are having sex who cannot afford birth control, married or unmarried, is a fact of life (always has been). If the bigger moral issue is avoidance of abortion, birth control should be made readily available for the good of society and as the more compassionate, reality-embracing option. Condemning women and children to a life of difficulty should hardly be the ‘lesson’ we are to teach, and casting stones isn’t our calling.

It is disingenuous to stand on a platform shaming young women (who didn’t get pregnant alone but many of whom will raise children alone), while at the same time creating policies ensuring they and their children won’t have a chance to live abundant, productive lives. Policies that ship manufacturing jobs overseas, reduce food stamps programs (often directly jeopardizing these in favor of military spending that does not benefit strapped military families), demonize and neuter unions, and cut school programs ensure children will not be raised by their parents who are instead forced to work long hours for little pay.

On marriage equality, there are a number of Biblical interpretations which do not vilify homosexuality (a word that was only invented in 1892). Regardless, again, this is a choice made by consenting adults which has no place being legislated against in a democracy. We’ve decided as a society to extend extra benefits for straight married couples, which creates an unequal standard. We should either remove these benefits for married men and women, or expand the application to those same sex couples willing to enter the legally binding contract of marriage. I prefer creating civil unions only for all couples in the eyes of the state, and leave marriages to churches of all faiths. The 1950’s “white picket fence” world nostalgic to some is only a candy coated part of the story from that part of U.S. history, and we can’t legislate our way backwards. Nor should we. We have to take people as they are, and create a new vision for heaven on earth. Dictating options for love and companionship leaves out a valuable segment of our population.

I watched a propaganda video intended to paint Obama as a secret, scary Muslim. I was left irritated at the premise that this would be bad for America, and instead reflected for the first time on the idea that, if true, this could be a tremendous asset for our country. In this increasingly global world, this could help build trust with Muslim nations attempting to implement democratic governments. It’s interesting to me that I grew up indoctrinated in thinking the Mormon faith is a cult, but Christians are ready to put their faith in a Mormon rather than a professing Christian who also has ties to Islam. It seems natural to me that he, being raised by his single mother and her family, would have also sought knowledge of the faith of his father and paternal family’s culture.

This fascination with the professed religion of any President is too much beside the point. The question for those most concerned with the impact on their personal lives should be: which candidate will most faithfully preserve our freedoms, regardless of creed (or lack thereof)? Separation of church and state is for the protection of the church as much as the purer democracy of the state. I think Christians should be involved in politics, but not to the exclusion or minimization of love-first policies in financial contributions, words, and deeds.

One last area of potential concern (and a bit of a surprise that it’s a heated issue among turn-the-other-cheek, practicing Christians): gun ownership. I simply don’t think any president will take away guns. It’s not a feasible fear due to the strength of the gun lobby and popular support, though that’s unfortunate. I’m fine with responsible ownership of guns, but I’m not supportive of assault weapons and ammunition being so readily available with zero accountability or tracking. It’s disconcerting that we’re so protective of our personal rights to mass-murder other humans under the guise of self-defense.

I do not understand the picking-and-choosing of application of biblical tenets of Christian political activists, denigrating efforts to feed the hungry while opposing expressions of free will, but I suppose I’m valuing Jesus’ primary teachings over other portions of the Bible as well. My personal conclusions are a combination of applied Christianity and policies I think contribute to a healthier American society, a greater land of opportunity for all her citizens, without favoring those who were born to the strongest and wealthiest.

So, although I’m not entirely pleased with many of Obama’s policies (including environmental), I think slow growth of the economy and people-first policies are necessary when contrasted with both Republican ideals and Romney’s stated positions. Unbridled profiteering (changing laws and corporate subsides via lobbyist efforts systematically creates victims and is not capitalism) has damaged our country and the quality of life of workers in developing nations. As Christians, we cannot turn a blind eye to this. A return of investment in U.S. owned and operated companies, playing by fair labor and good environmental stewardship ideals, rewarding 21st century sustainability standards and innovation: these will more slowly but more lastingly help our hurting country. We’ve had unsustainable, inflated growth (outsourcing the negative environmental impacts), and expensive wars. It’s time for forward-looking models. (PS, Ayn Rand was a secular humanist, not a Christian. Her philosophy is entirely that of the self-serving egoist, rather the opposite of Christ’s teachings.)

Finally, Obama’s administration will continue to surround him with advisers closer to my ideals. Romney/Paul statements blaming the poor for being poor (among other acclaimed positions) fundamentally concern me. Four more years, hopefully with a House and Senate that can enact a jobs bill without party politics blocking every forward motion, will be better overall. He’s done enough to deserve that chance, and his slower improvements are partially the fault of fail-at-any-cost opposition efforts and are potentially best for our Country in the long haul.

Although I’m not completely pleased with President Obama, I will support him for another four years.

Ideologically and as a Christian, I have become more aligned with progressive policies than conservative ones, primarily because a wealthy nation should care for its weakest citizens. A prosperous nation doesn’t gain or maintain success by increasing cultural and economic divides.

In Jesus’ day, when asked about taxes (it was a trick question then, too), he instructed his followers to “render to Caesar what is Caesar’s.” I would venture to say that capitalism and personal acquisition of material things are not inherently bad, but ‘prosperity doctrine’ has come to replace (or at least overshadow) principles of the early church. Though our democracy affords its citizens some say in the amount of taxes owed and where they are directed, and allows us to elect our leaders, we are still to respect authority and concern ourselves (as Christians) more with enacting the spirit and intent of Jesus’ basic teachings than vociferously denouncing these.

Jesus didn’t say to assess whether the poor are hungry and unclothed because they don’t work hard enough or suffer from addictions, he said to feed and clothe them. As Christians in a (presumably) democratic nation, we have the benefit of some of our tax dollars achieving these goals, and we have the right to influence elected officials to improve upon funded services. To most sustainably achieve this, we must also ensure even the least opportune children are afforded good education, and adults are given employment opportunities beyond low-paying service jobs.

Unfortunately, President Obama’s best efforts to keep his campaign promises and deliver a better America have been stymied by a Republican majority House. His attempts at compromise have been first rebuffed, then disparaged. The increasing extremism of the GOP platform is frightening to me. It selectively praises ideals of free actors in society while restricting healthcare for women and those already sick and protecting the ‘rights’ of polluters to damage everybody’s air and water quality in their praised pursuit of higher profits (among other concerns.)

Conversely, there seem to be a number of fears held by many conservative Christian Republicans about President Obama’s leadership (and Democrats generally), and abortion is at the top of the list.

Advocating for women’s choice isn’t interchangeable with advocating for abortion. I wish there never was another. However, it’s not a bright line issue for me, and I won’t support policies that criminalize doctors and women. Our jails are full, and abortion legality or illegality doesn’t functionally get to the heart of the matter.

We can’t vilify teens and adults who have sex outside of marriage. That most traditional Christians oppose sex outside of marriage does not mean it is an expectation rightfully imposed and politically thrust upon others. The fact that people are having sex who cannot afford birth control, married or unmarried, is a fact of life (always has been). If the bigger moral issue is avoidance of abortion, birth control should be made readily available for the good of society and as the more compassionate, reality-embracing option. Condemning women and children to a life of difficulty should hardly be the ‘lesson’ we are to teach, and casting stones isn’t our calling.

It is disingenuous to stand on a platform shaming young women (who didn’t get pregnant alone but many of whom will raise children alone), while at the same time creating policies ensuring they and their children won’t have a chance to live abundant, productive lives. Policies that ship manufacturing jobs overseas, reduce food stamps programs (often directly jeopardizing these in favor of military spending that does not benefit strapped military families), demonize and neuter unions, and cut school programs ensure children will not be raised by their parents who are instead forced to work long hours for little pay.

On marriage equality, there are a number of Biblical interpretations which do not vilify homosexuality (a word that was only invented in 1892). Regardless, again, this is a choice made by consenting adults which has no place being legislated against in a democracy. We’ve decided as a society to extend extra benefits for straight married couples, which creates an unequal standard. We should either remove these benefits for married men and women, or expand the application to those same sex couples willing to enter the legally binding contract of marriage. I prefer creating civil unions only for all couples in the eyes of the state, and leave marriages to churches of all faiths. The 1950’s “white picket fence” world nostalgic to some is only a candy coated part of the story from that part of U.S. history, and we can’t legislate our way backwards. Nor should we. We have to take people as they are, and create a new vision for heaven on earth. Dictating options for love and companionship leaves out a valuable segment of our population.

I watched a propaganda video intended to paint Obama as a secret, scary Muslim. I was left irritated at the premise that this would be bad for America, and instead reflected for the first time on the idea that, if true, this could be a tremendous asset for our country. In this increasingly global world, this could help build trust with Muslim nations attempting to implement democratic governments. It’s interesting to me that I grew up indoctrinated in thinking the Mormon faith is a cult, but Christians are ready to put their faith in a Mormon rather than a professing Christian who also has ties to Islam. It seems natural to me that he, being raised by his single mother and her family, would have also sought knowledge of the faith of his father and paternal family’s culture.

This fascination with the professed religion of any President is too much beside the point. The question for those most concerned with the impact on their personal lives should be: which candidate will most faithfully preserve our freedoms, regardless of creed (or lack thereof)? Separation of church and state is for the protection of the church as much as the purer democracy of the state. I think Christians should be involved in politics, but not to the exclusion or minimization of love-first policies in financial contributions, words, and deeds.

One last area of potential concern (and a bit of a surprise that it’s a heated issue among turn-the-other-cheek, practicing Christians): gun ownership. I simply don’t think any president will take away guns. It’s not a feasible fear due to the strength of the gun lobby and popular support, though that’s unfortunate. I’m fine with responsible ownership of guns, but I’m not supportive of assault weapons and ammunition being so readily available with zero accountability or tracking. It’s disconcerting that we’re so protective of our personal rights to mass-murder other humans under the guise of self-defense.

I do not understand the picking-and-choosing of application of biblical tenets of Christian political activists, denigrating efforts to feed the hungry while opposing expressions of free will, but I suppose I’m valuing Jesus’ primary teachings over other portions of the Bible as well. My personal conclusions are a combination of applied Christianity and policies I think contribute to a healthier American society, a greater land of opportunity for all her citizens, without favoring those who were born to the strongest and wealthiest.

So, although I’m not entirely pleased with many of Obama’s policies (including environmental), I think slow growth of the economy and people-first policies are necessary when contrasted with both Republican ideals and Romney’s stated positions. Unbridled profiteering (changing laws and corporate subsides via lobbyist efforts systematically creates victims and is not capitalism) has damaged our country and the quality of life of workers in developing nations. As Christians, we cannot turn a blind eye to this. A return of investment in U.S. owned and operated companies, playing by fair labor and good environmental stewardship ideals, rewarding 21st century sustainability standards and innovation: these will more slowly but more lastingly help our hurting country. We’ve had unsustainable, inflated growth (outsourcing the negative environmental impacts), and expensive wars. It’s time for forward-looking models. (PS, Ayn Rand was a secular humanist, not a Christian. Her philosophy is entirely that of the self-serving egoist, rather the opposite of Christ’s teachings.)

Finally, Obama’s administration will continue to surround him with advisers closer to my ideals. Romney/Paul statements blaming the poor for being poor (among other acclaimed positions) fundamentally concern me. Four more years, hopefully with a House and Senate that can enact a jobs bill without party politics blocking every forward motion, will be better overall. He’s done enough to deserve that chance, and his slower improvements are partially the fault of fail-at-any-cost opposition efforts and are potentially best for our Country in the long haul.

Each fall brought a two week vacation from school, just two weeks into the school year, to accommodate farming families and Maine’s “potato pickin’” season.

The teachers hated it. The kids without hard-labor duties loved it. I especially loved it because it meant Dad and I would travel to another farming community: his childhood home in South Dakota.

I would spend the majority of my days on the family farm singing to Uncle Monte’s sheep the years he had them, feeding them fistfuls of grass and petting any who came close enough. I chased the geese and the old Tom turkey through the brush and trees until I cornered the geese and they turned on me, hissing, wings threateningly raised. When I could locate it, I ate plums off a small tree hidden along the perimeter of a wooded stretch. I never found an arrowhead, probably because Uncle Tim had scoured the property for years, but I always kept my eyes glued to the ground, searching. I helped Grammie collect the eggs and had free reign of her garden, collecting all the cucumbers my tee shirt could hold and munching on as many as I pleased.

The cats, who were never allowed inside and most of which were feral, were fed greasy scraps in a dented, dingy pan. I always had an annual favorite I attempted to tame.

Photo taken by a very young Sara, likely age 7 or 8.

The cool mornings I was up early enough, I padded along after my rail-thin Grampie with his characteristically bagging jeans and helped spread the grain in the troughs for the cows. Then we’d return, wash up in the big sink by the front door, enjoy Grammie’s big breakfast and linger over family devotions.

I loved the soft-nosed calves the best. I was only partially conflicted as I watched and tried to help when it was time to separate them from their lowing mothers, fascinated by the gruesome process of castrating the males. I sat high atop the metal gates when there was no corralling to do, watching my uncles, Dad & Gramp deftly maneuver the bucking calves. Their heads would be quickly locked into place, back legs pinned manually, and one of the men would deftly work the clippers. The cats mewed and waited safely out of the reach of stomping hooves to be tossed the swiftly removed testicles from each stunned victim.

For the sensitive, animal-loving child I was, I took such events as necessities of farm life. In retrospect, the cattle on the family farm had it good by today’s standards. They weren’t overly cramped, had plenty of space to roam, and were rotated among different fenced areas. They had so much open pasture, it sometimes took dusty pickup rides across the property to find expectant mothers who sought privacy to deliver. The young were kept by their sides for as long as was practicable.

Northern Maine schools eventually did away with the two week break, moving our annual trip. I had to share the magical trips to the farm with my stepbrother. This brought new adventures, however. We tinkered with an ancient dirt bike and got to take turns puttering around on it. I had someone with whom to jump from sweet-smelling haystack to haystack as the setting sun filled the sky with vibrant colors. Grammie, having never learned how to swim until much later, fretted a little less when she took us to the town pool. There was never a bad day, and leaving was always bittersweet.

The house Mom and I shared in Maine was tucked into some trees a short walk from Main Street, and bordered the field owned by town icon Irene Bradford. She still owned cows when I was in elementary school, though they weren’t usually on the side of the field by us. One leisurely summer day, I was home alone watching cartoons when I looked out the living room window only to see cows pouring into our yard. I quickly called my Mom at work, grabbed a broom from the coat closet to extend my reach, and ran out to see what could be done.

I was ten or eleven at the time, but knew the little stretch of woods by our yard and stretching back along Bradford’s field. I used all my best South Dakota farm tactics, mimicking Uncle Mark’s “Hey!” and the “sssshhhhHHT!” the cows seem to hate, raising my arms and charging most menacingly when when they moved a direction I didn’t want. I kept steering the small, confused herd in the general direction of the field and away from the broader expanse of woods until somehow, I found us in the broad expanse of tall grasses and out of the trees. We never encountered a rear fence, but the drama was resolved by the time my worried Mom found me making my way back home.

Irene insisted on giving me $20 for my help, which I found impossibly embarrassing. I took the money to the clothing store with its side custom tee shirt business in town, and picked out a screen with two kittens and the word “PRECIOUS” scripted across the top. I had just enough to buy the letters “IRENE” for the back (possibly because it was my Aunt Amber’s shop.) Irene then bought me a matching tee with “SARA” pressed on the back.

I was a shy kid, which only marginally improved by middle and high school. Our church went caroling around town each Christmas season, and Irene’s was a favorite stop near the end of our trip. Her cast iron stove was always cranking out enough heat to thaw our fingers and melt the snow on our jackets and hats, and there was cocoa and Irene’s indomitable presence. A couple of the years, she relayed the story of the great cow rescue and our tee shirt exchange to the array of my peers, adults and children. Mortified, I tried to disappear behind my cocoa, but was pleased the great woman remained proud of my adventure with her cows.

There haven’t been cows in Bradford field for many years, but gratefully her house has been designated as historic and converted into a bed and breakfast. It would be too painful to see it withering or worse, gone, like so many favorite buildings from home.

Many have warm stories of Irene, of her unconventional life; some with spooky haunting stories of her home. She had a way of touching people in unforgettable ways. Whenever I visit my hometown and see that glorious house with its big red bard or the stretch of her overgrown field, I think of how my two worlds connected on an otherwise ordinary summer day and how special that magnanimous woman made this shy, out-of-place girl feel.

It seems the bulk of the Republican Party elected officials, and those who vote for them, aim to legislate for a perfect world. Or, rather, some vision of a 1950’s white picket fence perfect world, where there was no unwedded sex (without aspirin-between-knees), unintended pregnancies involved mysteriously shipping young ladies off for months at a time and a clouded future for the girls (though not their mates), where women went to college to learn to be better housewives, “happy” “faithful” marriages lasted forever and (white) children played harmoniously in safe small towns with penny candy and soda counters.

People with such rosy glasses think there needn’t be “special” opportunities made for people who aren’t born fortunate enough, or who didn’t choose to properly fit into this version of America. Who didn’t do well enough in school or have an entrepreneurial streak a great, marketable idea, and seed money. Who didn’t find, woo, and marry their lifelong (straight) partner straight out of high school or college. Who weren’t born rich, silver spoon filled with hand-pressed organics, attachment/or detachment/or whatever’s en vogue parenting-raised. Head down, hard work isn’t the solution in a vacuum.

Let’s not forget that, even in black-and-white Hollywood, pristine America didn’t exist. Greedy monopoly interests would’ve created Pottersville if not for George Bailey and his angel, and they hadn’t even figured out how to properly lobby for special exemptions yet. Pre-WWII, copyright 1940, The Unknown Citizen was plodding through the course of his life. It wasn’t exactly utopia.

There has never been a perfect America, and to punish those who don’t fit within the four corners of a bygone Instamatic picture doesn’t advance our country forward. Neither can legislating such narrow idealism cram us, ill-fitted, into the past. Besides, why should we want to go back to Bible-based justifications for racism?

There is no culture war, no class war – only a struggle to adapt to a changing world and attempts to makes sense of diverse identity, to carve out the parts that are “us” and learn how to properly relate to “them.”  To move past the fear of differences and change. America is still a great idea, with some great thinkers and capacity for deep compassion and hard work.

“One Nation Under God” would be fine by me (though not everyone), but the broader assumptions have come to hint at a Christian version of Sharia law and blessings exhibited by success based upon capitalism. If the poor are poor, it’s their fault for not following God. If the sick are dying, they’ve probably done something to deserve it.

Modern American Christians take liberties with Biblical applications and misrepresent God’s loving intention toward people. Jesus died to wipe away legalism and striving for perfection. Jesus did not teach that Christians should overthrow earthly governments and impose Jesus’ commandments on unbelievers (to love the Lord your God…. and your neighbor as yourself… the greatest of these is Love.)

If “One Nation Under God” was defined by God’s terms – including exhibiting acknowledgment and appreciation of God’s self in every type of human, I think we’d be a more harmonious, successful America.

Soberingly, news outlets and scholars are pondering data indicating the U.S. isn’t Number One. It’s a kick-in-the-gut wakeup call, or it should be. What do we do about it?

It’s okay to be angry that the Constitution and Schoolhouse Rock and All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and the Golden Rule “sold” us a false bill of goods. Unbridled, lobbyist-aided capitalism and Potter-esque greed are to blame – not the ideals that give us a sense of fairness in the first place. We need a strong right and left and lots of vocal in-betweens to respectfully hash it out, sing in harmony, then lead.

Divided we fall. There’s enough remaining to fight for – less in a warring sense and more the internal, soulish battlefields – to find our common ground. To see the humanity and love and values of others around us. To see beauty in the various ways we find family and lasting friendship now.

We can’t waste time attempting to legislate an ideal that’s never existed, and there are plenty of logs to work on instead of bullying the rest of America into a version of Christianity uncomfortably similar to Sharia law. Let’s forge a reality-based, compassionate land of opportunity in America regardless of faith or lack thereof. Compassion is not limited to those who put on the mantle of Christianity – thank God – and patriotism means more than red-white-and-blue, men-died-for-freedom rallying cries.

As a Christian, it’s more than “tolerance” in name only. It’s a celebration of every person who comes into my life. What I learn from them. How I see God in them. How I watch courage and loyalty and compassion and integrity play out in the choices of regular people, and beautiful personalities emerge even if they haven’t professed faith in God and aren’t on my brand-of-Christianity team. (Do I have to pick just one team?!)

There is no perfect Christ figure running for office, so I must remain involved and hold elected officials accountable.

I will vote for those who advance freedom, equality, and opportunity for all, who see the imperfect world for what it is, and plan to create realistic solutions. They promote policies to help the poor and sick without asking whether those recipients of compassionate aid are deserving enough to be fed and healed.

I think it’s what Jesus would do.

Are you waiting on pins and needles to hear about the ruling on healthcare reform – “Obamacare?”

Are you ready to stick it to Obama, relish some justification for your vitriol and hatred of your President?

What exactly are you celebrating?

What ill motive could you ascribe to this man for risking his neck, his political career, for Americans in need?

Are you so blinded by hate that you cannot – or you refuse to – see the political gamesmanship that has twisted these reforms into something sold as “bad” or taking from “hardworking people” to give to slackers?

HCR was an imperfect solution, even before it was hijacked by Congress shenanigans. But its intent made sense: we all die sometime, people have healthcare emergencies, some families are bankrupted by such emergencies. The public bears an unfair burden. All people should have health insurance.

Elected leaders have decided to make Obama fail at any cost, and then hang that failure around his neck. This is nothing to celebrate.

For my Christian friends: what is going on in your hearts and souls that makes you think it’s blessed of God to flout authority? Tirades feel good, standing on a pulpit and spewing anger because the world is imperfect and people are wrong sometimes is gratifying, I’m sure. But what of the Biblical mandates to respect governing authorities? Shame on you for thinking Brietbart-esque expressions of abject disregard for the office of President are godly or acceptable.

Even at times of great sadness and anger under the leadership of President Bush, I wouldn’t have ventured to say some of the things I’ve heard and read from supposed followers of Christ.

What are you modeling for your children, who you expect to respect you?

It’s not just the flagrant disrespect, bitterness, and anger they hear you voicing. It’s not just the rushing to further divide our country and build an us/them mentality. It’s fear.

The higher calling is love, and perfect love drives out fear.

How much time are you spending teaching love and compassion (by modeling), *especially* if you believe the “other side”  is wrong? How hard has your heart become to your fellow Americans?

It’s not just an America for Christians. Be wise and aware of contradictory, heavily politicized messages, but soften your hearts.

I’m working on this daily, and I challenge you to do the same. Regardless of the outcome of tomorrow’s Supreme Court ruling.